No Eating!
by infinite eternity
Summary: Sasuke runs into a human on the way to school. He isn't quite sure if he wants to eat him, but he definitely wants to kiss him. / Set in a modern-day fantasy AU.
1. Chapter 1

**This is just an idea I had one day and I just had to scribble it down. It's not a deeply philosophical or heart-warmingly sweet piece; it's honestly just self-indulgence. I don't think I'll continue it.**

 **Cover by Dattebay00 on DeviantArt.**

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Sasuke turned his head from side to side to let his mother examine him, shifting impatiently in the chair and crossing his arms. An impatient frown crept across his face.

"Good," Mikoto decided at last. "Your skin doesn't seem quite so pale now. I should congratulate Itachi on his skill with makeup; you'll never be able to pass as normal, of course, but at least you look like a human."

"Mm."

Mikoto sighed and moved to take his face in her hands. "You've already heard this a lot, but do try to speak up more at school. You won't make any friends if all you do is grunt."

"Why bother?" he replied, scowling and pulling out of her grasp. Every year she would try to convince him, and every year he would refuse. "They're all just going to die."

"And we're not," Mikoto replied patiently, "so it's important to spend all of that time in a meaningful way. And humans may be a little weaker, may live short lives, but where it matters they're just like us. They can make your eternity a little less dull. We love you, Itachi and I, but we're not always going to be around. You might not even see us every century after you turn eighteen."

"As you've reminded me," Sasuke said.

Exasperated, Mikoto reached out and ran her fingers briefly through his spiky hair. "I can't force you to do anything, but think about it, Sasuke-chan."

"Don't call me that," he responded automatically.

" _Sasuke-chan_."

He huffed. "Fine. I'll think about it."

Mikoto gave him a sharp look that said she didn't quite take his words at face value, but she relented and stepped back. "Well, get your things. You don't want to miss the bus on your first day of high school."

Sasuke's scowl ratcheted up about three notches. He knew that there were reasons why he couldn't simply run to the school—good reasons, even—but that didn't mean he was _happy_ about them. The thought of being trapped in close quarters with dozens of loud, aromatic humans and unable to kill or taste even a single one of them… Tch. Sasuke did, in fact, want to miss the bus, but he knew better than to give in to the temptation. His mother would find out—she always did—and there would be no escaping her wrath.

Maybe he was being a _little_ melodramatic, but the end result was still the same: it wasn't worth it. He glared at the wall and resigned himself to his fate.

At 7:52 a.m., Mikoto pushed Sasuke out the door and waved him off with a smile—no, a sadistic, _evil_ grin—as he glared down at his shoes.

"Have fun, Sasuke!" she called. "I love you."

Sasuke halted at the bottom of the steps and looked up at his mother from underneath his bangs. He might have smiled. "Love you too," he said quietly and hurried down the walk.

The wind swept through his hair and rustled his shirt, rich with the familiar scent of fallen leaves and human flesh. Leaves fluttered in the breeze. It made for an unnervingly cheerful scene. Sasuke was annoyed less by the cheer itself and more by the sunlight that bounced off the concrete into his eyes (seemingly with the sole purpose of blinding him). And also about the asshole who had just slammed into him.

"Watch it!" he snapped out almost before he collided with the ground. And collide he did, knees scraping painfully and wrists jarring from the impact. And what the fuck? What kind of crazy bastard was this guy who could knock a vampire down flat? Not a human, surely. He turned and—

Oh.

Wide blue eyes filled his vision, and oh he was close enough to smell him, and _oh,_ he was definitely human. The boy was saying something, mouth moving rapidly, but Sasuke didn't hear him. He inhaled deeply, then again and was about to lean closer when he caught himself. What the hell was he doing? No eating, Sasuke reminded himself. He repeated it a few times in his head for good measure. Then, sanity mostly regained, he looked back up at the boy.

"— _really_ sorry, I swear. I can totally make it up to you—"

Sasuke wasn't listening. Yeah, he thought, no vampire looked like _that_. Spikes of unruly blond hair, skin tanned to goddamned perfection… And Sasuke couldn't tear his gaze from those eyes, bright and clear like the sky itself was opening up before him.

"—and I know a really good noodle shop by the school so maybe I could buy you ramen or something?"

"Um," said Sasuke. There was a hand in front of his face. Slowly, he took it and did _not_ yelp when he was pulled to his feet with casual ease.

They looked at each other for a moment. Then the blond boy laughed sheepishly and took a step back so he was out of Sasuke's personal bubble. Sasuke was horrified to realize that he wanted him to come back.

"So… is that a yes?"

Sasuke's mouth moved without his permission. "Yeah."

"Cool!" The blond flashed him a thumbs up and a grin, and _oh_. Immortal or not, Sasuke nearly died right then and there. Of _course_ this idiot's smile had to be the 8th goddamned wonder of the world. "My name's Naruto."

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 **Thank you for reading! Review if you'd like.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Some people actually liked the first chapter enough to ask for a second one? What?**

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Naruto sat next to him on the bus.

There were thirty other humans crowded nearby, but Sasuke didn't give a fuck about them. Naruto was sitting here, right here, and the heady scent of his blood was filling Sasuke's nose and _maybealsohis—_ oh, but that was going with him to the _grave_.

"Are you a freshman too?" Naruto asked, peering down at Sasuke. "I mean, you're really short, so you look like you might be."

Sasuke's brain was momentarily torn between waxing poetic about Naruto's voice and raging at the injustice that was the vampire growth curve. He _knew_ he looked like a twelve-year-old, thank you very much.

"Mm," he confirmed when his search for a more eloquent answer came up short.

Naruto beamed. Sasuke had a minor heart attack. "Cool! Maybe we'll have a class together."

Sasuke blanched, utterly certain that that'd be either paradise or torture. Then he remembered that he was supposed to reply, tried to come up with a response, and instantly failed. How did people have conversations all the damn time? There was nothing to _talk_ about. "Hn," he managed.

"Oi, are you brats freshies?" An silver-haired upperclassman leaned around the seat behind them to jab at Sasuke's shoulder, dodging his retaliatory punch and cackling as he flopped back down. His jacket, black with embroidered red clouds, tickled at something in Sasuke's memory.

"Hey!" Naruto cried. "Who're you calling a brat?"

Another boy, this one blond with a ridiculous ponytail and the same black jacket, jumped to his feet to peer down at them. Sasuke glared. The blond laughed. "Oi, Sasori, were we ever this short?"

"Yes, actually," drawled a calm voice. Rust-red hair was barely visible over the back of the cracked leather seat.

"We're not short," Naruto protested. He stopped short and cast a sideways glance at Sasuke. "Well. At least _I'm_ not…"

"Hmph."

The silver-haired boy guffawed and slapped Sasuke's back. "Yeah, kid," he crowed, "You're a fucking midget, honestly!"

Sasuke tried to set him on fire with his glare. The head of russet hair rose into sight. Sasori, clad in the same jacket as the other two, looked younger than the others, but Sasuke knew that appearance didn't actually mean shit in regards to age. "Let's move on," Sasori said, casting Sasuke and Naruto a disinterested look. "And Hidan, shut up."

Hidan blew a raspberry. Sunlight streamed through the windows and lit his face, brown eyes flashing violet. "Shut up yourself, asshole," he returned, but stood and trailed Sasori towards the back of the bus.

The blond got up to follow them but hesitated, leaning closer to Naruto and Sasuke. He threw a nervous glance over his shoulder. "Hey," he said quietly. "Listen up, 'cause I won't say this again, yeah?"

Naruto blinked. "What—?"

Sasuke flailed to cover Naruto's mouth with his hand, too shocked to be self-conscious about the action. The upperclassman was close enough for him to smell, and the scent that tickled his nose was far from human. He dared to take a deeper sniff as the boy continued speaking. Could it be…?

"Look, I don't really have time to explain," the blond muttered. "Just—if you see anyone wearing a jacket like this, stay away, alright? They're all dangerous, yeah."

 _You included?_ Sasuke wondered. Naruto shifted around to dislodge Sasuke's hand from his face, and Sasuke flushed red as he realized what he'd been doing.

"Don't worry about me!" Naruto assured the other blond. "I can handle anything."

The upperclassman grimaced. "Trust me, you can't handle them."

"Deidara, you fucking snail!" Hidan hollered from the back of the bus. "What's taking you so long?"

The blond—Deidara—gave them a hard look. "I'm serious. If you don't want to die before your fifteenth birthday, stay the hell away from us. _I_ won't kill you, but some of the others wouldn't even hesitate." Straightening up, he shouted, "Chill it, asshole, I'm coming!"

"I wish you would," Hidan called. A few people whistled. Deidara flipped Hidan the bird and made his way towards the back, not looking back once. Sasuke's eyes narrowed. Naruto turned towards him and began babbling about the warning, but Sasuke only half-listened to his words, because he finally recognized the scent.

Phoenix.

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 **Yeah, you can tell how much I don't know where the hell I'm going with this story, but it's whatever.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Does anyone remember this fic?**

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Forest High School was a massive brick-and-concrete monstrosity spanning an entire suburban block. Dull yellow and brown was broken up by the occasional bright expanse of glass, as if the architect had tried to go for avant-garde but ended up with—well… this.

They squeezed through the thick crowd of students streaming down the sidewalk, Sasuke struggling to see through the forest of necks and shoulders at his eye level. The sun had retreated sullenly behind the clouds. Sasuke felt eyes on him, and he turned his head warily to scan the throng. He was surprised to find his watcher right away: a tan, green-haired boy with freckles and tiny silver hoop earrings slouching against the wall. But his jacket, black with red clouds, was what made Sasuke stop in his tracks.

A chill slid down Sasuke's spine. _Another_ one?

"Sweet necklace," said the boy. His voice was low and scratchy and sounded like what it feels like to drag your hand down unsanded wood.

Sasuke looked down. His necklace was simple, just three metal rings on a chain. His mouth felt dry as he looked back up, swallowing uncertainly. There was something about the boy's amber gaze that made him feel disconcerted. Nervous. Unsettled.

"Thank—"

"Hey, Sasuke," Naruto cut in, backtracking (and ignoring the irritated students he bumped into). Sasuke had never been so relieved to hear someone's voice. "What's taking you so long?"

"We were just chatting," the green-haired boy said. He rolled his shoulders in a languid circle and pushed off the wall. "I'll see you around."

Sasuke and Naruto blinked after him for a moment. "Um—" Naruto began.

"Would you like a map?" called a girl from behind a small wooden table. Blonde and smiling, she sported a bright pink T-shirt that read, _FOREST FRESHMEN, HAVE NO FEAR! IF YOU NEED HELP, WE'LL BE RIGHT HERE!_ She handed over two yellow pamphlets.

Sasuke opened one up as they were once again pulled along by the crowd, trying to shove the encounter with that green-haired boy out of his mind. _Shit_ , he thought as he squinted down at the expanse of rectangles, numbers, and what looked like ancient runic markings. _I'm definitely going to get lost_.

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 **As you can probably tell, this chapter is a lot shorter than the previous two. It's pretty much just a gauge of how many people still care about this story and whether I should continue it or not. So, please review if you'd like me to continue writing :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**'Sup gang, it's your 12748th favorite fanfic author here with another chapter of that one story you haven't thought about in months! Hopefully you still care vaguely about it :)**

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Sasuke entered the cafeteria with his tray of indisputably unappetizing food and was immediately surrounded by chaos. Students streamed around him, talking and laughing and generally making nuisances of themselves. There must have been hundreds of them. He stood in front of the doorway for a moment, trying not the inhale too deeply lest the scent of blood overwhelm him. Then an older boy shoved him aside with a swear, and Sasuke was startled into walking again.

His mother had made him drink two glasses of blood that morning to make sure he didn't end up biting someone at school; he'd rolled his eyes at her then, but deeply appreciated it now. The smell was strong—in teenagers, it usually was—and it was all around him. However, it didn't seem quite as tantalizing as he might have expected, and he realized why a second later when Naruto appeared at his shoulder with a blinding white grin. _Right_. Just as a pastry from the corner store doesn't quite give you the same feeling when you've had a Michelin-star restaurant's signature mille-feuille.

"Sasuke! I found you!"

"Hello," Sasuke said, and winced. He'd never been a clever conversationalist, but in Naruto's presence he seemed to become a particularly dull-witted parakeet. At least no vampire would blame him, nor would any other species with a half-decent sense of smell and working eyeballs. There was just no time to _think_ —all of his attention was tangled up helplessly in Naruto's overwhelming presence.

"Where are we going to sit?" Naruto wondered, peering around the crowded cafeteria.

Sasuke's eyes caught on a table of teens wearing those damned black-and-red bomber jackets. They were careless, carefree, sprawled across the cheap plastic seats like kings on jewelled thrones. Sasuke was too far away to be sure, but he thought he saw the redhead from the bus—Satori? Sasori? Yes, that was it—twirling a Juul around his fingers. But even as he felt a prickle of wariness on his neck, Sasuke couldn't help but think that they looked like nothing more than a C-list boy band with an edgy color scheme.

Dangerous thoughts, he reminded himself. One should never underestimate superanima, no matter how tacky their clothing.

He turned. "Let's sit over there," he suggested, and began walking determinedly away from the table of black and red.

Naruto wasn't as oblivious as Sasuke thought, and he caught Sasuke's eye as they walked. "Those guys—yanno, with the jackets—d'you know what's up with them?"

"No," he snapped. Seeing hurt flash across Naruto's face, Sasuke quickly tried to backtrack: "I mean—I—I'm…" He couldn't bring himself to apologize, so he just swallowed and jerked his head toward a table with vacant seats. "Let's—sit."

When they'd set down their trays and taken their seats, Naruto leaned into Sasuke's line of sight and said softly, "It's okay; don't worry about it. It's nothing compared to what I'm used to!" He gave a thumbs-up and a cheery, closed-eye grin. Sasuke gaped. There were so many things wrong with what Naruto had just said that he didn't know where to begin. He was saved from having to reply by a familiar voice.

"Hey, Sasuke, right? From bio?"

"… Hn."

Naruto squinted at the newcomers. "Hey, who are you?"

The dark-haired boy and his round-faced companion sat down across from Sasuke and Naruto. His eyes were narrow and shrewd. "I'm Shikamaru, and he's Chouji. I sit behind Sasuke in biology," he added. Sasuke huffed quietly.

"I'm Naruto!" Naruto responded brightly, smiling widely. Sasuke tried not to stare. He noticed Shikamaru smirking knowingly at him from across the table and scowled as his ears burned. _Don't say a word_ , he tried to convey with a glare. Beside him, Naruto was oblivious to their interaction.

The four of them ate lunch together. Naruto was the loudest, of course, and he and Chouji got along like two otters in a swimming pool. Shikamaru was less animated, but he interjected often, which was more than Sasuke did. Sasuke, unsure of how to navigate the conversation, stayed grumpily silent unless someone spoke directly to him. Something inside him crossed its arms and pouted at the attention that Naruto was giving people other than Sasuke. Another, stronger part of him beat that feeling to a pulp. Sasuke was glad that Naruto was making more friends, he really was!

Maybe—and he would never admit it to his mother, but— _maybe_ he could handle the idea of Shikamaru and Chouji being Sasuke's friends too.

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 **Alright kids, I'm thinking about doing a timeskip after this lil chapter. What do y'all think? If you read this author's note, please review with your opinion on a possible timeskip, how much you care about this fic (if at all), and any other comments you may have. Thank you so much!**


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